the resource project
Age of Consent:
What Every Parent Should Know
What is consent?
Consent is permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Consent is voluntary, enthusisatic, individual, specific, sober and can be revoked at any time. No one can consent to sexual activity with someone in a postiton of power, or authority.
What is the age of consent?
Explain that in Canada the general age of consent for sexual activity is 16 years old, but that this is only the starting point.
Close-in-age/Peer Exceptions
12–13 Less than 2 years older
14–15 Less than 5 years older
16–17 Another 16 year old, a 17 year old, and 18 year old or an adult of any age*
*This does not apply where there is exploitation, coercion, or a relationship of trust or authority exists.
Relationships where consent is NOT legally possible
Examples:
teacher
coach
babysitter
youth leader
foster parent
clergy
therapist
doctor
employer (depending on circumstances)
family member in many situations
Even if your child says they agreed, the law may determine that they were not legally able to consent because of the nature of the relationship or the power imbalance involved.
Age of consent is NOT the same as healthy consent
Someone may be legally old enough to consent, but still may not be freely consenting because of:
grooming
manipulation
threats
intoxication
fear
coercive control
trafficking
disability
unconsciousness
Images and online offences
Teens may not realize that images and online offences are against the law.
These offences may include:
nude images of anyone under 18
sharing intimate images
sextortion
luring
online grooming
recording abuse
Many offences involving children have different legal rules than those involving adults.
Common Myths
My child said yes.
→ Children can agree to something and still be victims under Canadian law.
The offender was only 17.
→ Age alone doesn't determine legality.
There wasn't any force.
→ Sexual abuse often involves manipulation rather than physical violence.
It happened online.
→ Online sexual offences are real criminal offences.
When should parents ask the police for support?
If you are unsure whether an interaction was legal, speak with police or a child advocacy professional. It is not your responsibility to determine whether a criminal offence occurred. Your role is to protect and support your child.
Remember
You do not need to understand every detail of the Criminal Code before seeking help. If something feels wrong, trust your instincts. Police and child protection professionals are responsible for determining whether criminal offences have occurred. Your job is to help your child feel safe, believed, and supported.
It's Never Too Early to Start Teaching Consent
Teaching Consent 0-4:
Model consent during day to day life If a child is smiling and having fun, stop playing when the child says no, and only continue when they tell you they are ready
Introduce consent by using examples like sharing toys and respecting personal space Teach children that they get to decide about their own body, and that no one should touch them without consent
Talk about what consent means in romantic relationships Emphasize the importance of asking for consent and respecting a "No," even if it's not the answer they wanted Remind them that a trusted adult can help them if they're unsure or feel unsafe about something
Introduce complex aspects of consent, like how alcohol can play a role. Explain that intoxicated individuals can not give consent Empower them to speak up when they see something that violates consent
This information reflects current trauma-informed guidance from the Ontario child advocacy centres, the Canadian Centre for Child Protection, BOOST Child & Youth Advocacy Centre, the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, the Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies, the Canadian Paediatric Society, and peer-reviewed research on child development and recovery following childhood sexual abuse.
For a complete list of sources, websites, organizations and publications referenced in The Resource Project, please go to our section on References.