The Ironwood Project
the resource project

Preventing Future Abuse


When sexual abuse has occurred within a family, parents often worry about how to keep all of their children safe moving forward. While this can feel overwhelming, there are practical steps you can take to reduce risk and help your children feel safe.


Prioritize Safety. The safety of your child and any siblings comes first.

  • Follow any safety recommendations made by the Children’s Aid Society (CAS), police, or the court.

  • Ensure there is no unsupervised contact between children and the person who caused harm unless authorized by the appropriate authorities.

  • Let your children know that adults are responsible for keeping them safe.


Teach Healthy Boundaries. Help children understand:

  • Everyone has the right to say "no" to unwanted touch.

  • Their body belongs to them.

  • Safe adults listen when children express discomfort.

  • Secrets about touching or private body parts should never have to be kept.


These conversations should be ongoing and age-appropriate rather than a one-time discussion.


Encourage Open Communication

Create an environment where children know they can talk to you about anything.

Try to:

  • Listen calmly without judgment.

  • Believe your child if they share concerns.

  • Check in regularly about how they are feeling.

  • Reassure them they will not get into trouble for telling you something.


Children who feel heard are more likely to report situations that make them uncomfortable.


Supervise Family Interactions

If the person who caused harm is part of the extended family:

  • Carefully consider attendance at family gatherings.

  • Follow any existing safety plans.

  • Inform trusted caregivers of any safety concerns when appropriate.

  • Never expect children to manage their own safety around someone who has harmed them.


Support Siblings

Siblings may also experience fear, confusion, anger, or sadness, even if they were not directly harmed. Provide opportunities for siblings to:

  • Ask questions in an age-appropriate way.

  • Express their feelings.

  • Receive reassurance that the adults are taking steps to keep everyone safe.


Continue Professional Support

Healing and safety are ongoing processes. Trauma-informed counselling can help children:

  • Build healthy boundaries.

  • Develop body safety skills.

  • Strengthen confidence in speaking up.

  • Process feelings about family changes.



Helping Children Rebuild Safe Trust

After sexual abuse, many children become confused about who is safe to trust. Some become fearful of all adults, while others continue to trust people too quickly. Both responses can be understandable after trauma.

You can help your child rebuild healthy trust by:

  • reminding them that most adults are safe, while also teaching them how to recognize unsafe behaviours

  • respecting their boundaries when they say "no" to hugs, kisses, or physical affection

  • encouraging them to identify several trusted adults they can talk to if they ever feel unsafe

  • practicing body safety and consent in everyday situations

  • helping them understand that safe adults listen, respect boundaries, and never ask children to keep secrets about touching or private body parts

  • reminding them that they can always come to you—even if someone tells them not to


As children regain confidence in identifying safe people and trusting their own instincts, they begin to rebuild one of the things trauma often takes away: a sense of safety in the world and confidence in themselves.


Parents may also benefit from support in maintaining safety plans and responding to their children's needs. Remember. One caring, protective adult can make a significant difference in a child's recovery. By believing your child, maintaining clear safety boundaries, encouraging open communication, and working with professionals, you are helping create a safe environment where healing can continue.


Note: If you have immediate concerns that any child may be at risk of sexual abuse or harm, contact your local CAS. If a child is in immediate danger, call 911.




This information reflects current trauma-informed guidance from the Ontario child advocacy centres, the Canadian Centre for Child Protection, BOOST Child & Youth Advocacy Centre, the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, the Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies, the Canadian Paediatric Society, and peer-reviewed research on child development and recovery following childhood sexual abuse.


The following organizations and publications were referenced in the preparation of this information.