the resource project
Frequently Asked Questions
Should I tell my child I believe them?
Yes. One of the most important things you can say is, "I believe you." Children rarely lie about sexual abuse, and knowing they are believed is one of the strongest protective factors in their healing.
What should I say when my child discloses?
Keep it simple and reassuring. You might say:
"I'm so glad you told me."
"I believe you."
"This is not your fault."
"You are not in trouble."
"I'm going to help keep you safe."
Should I confront the offender?
Generally, no. Avoid confronting the alleged offender before speaking with police. Confrontation can interfere with an investigation, put you or your child at risk, or give the person an opportunity to destroy evidence or influence others.
Will Children's Aid Society (CAS) take my child away?
Usually not. CAS's primary goal is to keep children safe. When a parent or caregiver is protective and willing to work with professionals, children are usually able to remain safely at home.
What happens during a police interview?
Specially trained officers or forensic interviewers speak with your child in a calm, child-friendly environment. They use open-ended questions and allow children to tell their story in their own words. Parents are usually not present during the interview.
Will my child have to testify?
Not always. Many cases are resolved without a child testifying. If testimony is required, support is available to help children prepare and reduce the stress of the court process.
How long does healing take?
There is no set timeline. Healing looks different for every child and family. With safety, support, and appropriate therapy, many children recover and go on to live healthy, fulfilling lives.
How do I help siblings?
Be honest using age-appropriate language, maintain routines where possible, and reassure siblings that they are safe and loved. Watch for changes in behaviour, as siblings may also need support or counselling.
Should I tell the school?
In most cases, yes. Informing a trusted staff member, such as the principal, school social worker, or teacher, allows the school to provide emotional support, monitor your child's well-being, and make accommodations if needed. Work with your child to decide how much information should be shared.
What if the offender is a family member?
This can be one of the most difficult situations a family faces. Your first priority is your child's safety. Follow the advice of police and Children's Aid Society, avoid pressuring your child to maintain contact, and seek support for yourself as you navigate the impact on the wider family.
What if my child doesn't want to talk?
Do not pressure them. Let your child know you are available whenever they are ready. Continue offering love, reassurance, and opportunities to talk while respecting their pace.
What if the abuse happened years ago?
It is never too late to seek support. Many survivors disclose years or even decades later. Counselling can still be highly effective, and many historical sexual offences can still be reported to police if the survivor chooses.
Is it normal for my child to act like nothing happened?
Yes. Some children continue with their daily routines, while others show changes in mood or behaviour. Every child's response to trauma is different, and there is no "right" way to react.
What if I don't know what to do?
You don't have to have all the answers. Focus on believing your child, keeping them safe, and reaching out for support. Professionals can guide you through the next steps, one step at a time.