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Frequently Asked Questions

This information reflects current trauma-informed guidance and research from Canadian child-advocacy, child-protection and health organizations, as well as relevant international research and guidance

Should I tell my child I believe them?

Yes. One of the most important things you can say is, “I believe you.” A supportive, non-blaming response can make an important difference in how a child copes following a disclosure.

What should I say when my child discloses?

Keep it simple and reassuring. You might say:

• "I'm so glad you told me."

• "I believe you."

• "This is not your fault."

• "You are not in trouble."

• "I'm going to help keep you safe."

See How to Respond to a Disclosure

Should I ask my child what happened?

Let your child tell you what they want to tell you, but avoid asking detailed or repeated questions about what happened. Listen, reassure them and focus on immediate safety. If police or child-protection professionals become involved, they may need to speak with your child in a more structured way.

Should I confront the person my child identified?

Generally, no. Avoid confronting the person your child identified, particularly before speaking with police. A confrontation could affect an investigation, increase safety concerns, or give the person an opportunity to influence your child or others. 

Do I have to report this?

Reporting requirements depend on your child's age, where you live and the circumstances. If you are in Ontario and have reasonable grounds to suspect that a child under 16 is or may be in need of protection, the law generally requires an immediate report directly to a Children's Aid Society. Different rules apply to youth who are 16 or 17. Reporting laws vary across Canada. See Do I Need to Report This? for more information.

Will Children's Aid Society (CAS) take my child away?

A report to Children's Aid does not automatically mean your child will be removed from your care. CAS's role is to assess safety and determine what supports or protective steps may be needed. When a child can remain safely at home, CAS will generally work with the family toward that goal. See Working with Children's Aid Society

What happens during a police interview?

Depending on where you live and the circumstances, your child may speak with a specially trained police officer or forensic interviewer, sometimes in a child-friendly setting such as a Child and Youth Advocacy Centre. Interviewers generally use open-ended questions and allow children to describe what happened in their own words. Parents or caregivers are often not present during the interview. See Working with Police

Will my child have to testify?

Not necessarily. Whether a child is required to testify depends on what happens with the investigation and court process. If testimony is required, there may be supports available to help children participate and reduce the stress of the process.

How long does healing take?

There is no set timeline. Healing looks different for every child and family. With safety, support, and appropriate therapy, many children recover and go on to live healthy, fulfilling lives. See Therapeutic and Psychological Support

How do I help siblings?

Be honest using age-appropriate language, maintain routines where possible, and reassure siblings that they are safe and loved. Watch for changes in behaviour, as siblings may also need support or counselling.

Should I tell the school?

It may help to tell a trusted person at your child's school if your child needs support or accommodations. You do not need to share every detail. Consider what the school needs to know to support your child, and, where appropriate, involve your child in deciding what information is shared and with whom.

What if the person who caused harm is a family member?

This can be one of the most difficult situations a family faces. Your first priority is your child's safety. Follow the advice of police and Children's Aid Society, avoid pressuring your child to maintain contact, and seek support for yourself as you navigate the impact on the wider family. See When the Person That Caused Harm is a Family Member

What if my child doesn't want to talk?

Do not pressure them. Let your child know you are available whenever they are ready. Continue offering love, reassurance, and opportunities to talk while respecting their pace.

What if the abuse happened years ago?

It is never too late to seek support. Many survivors disclose years or even decades later. Counselling and other supports can still be helpful. In Canada, the passage of time does not necessarily prevent a sexual offence from being reported to police. An adult survivor can decide whether reporting is right for them.

Is it normal for my child to act like nothing happened?

Yes. Some children continue with their daily routines, while others show changes in mood or behaviour. Every child's response to trauma is different, and there is no "right" way to react. See Common Reactions to Trauma

What if I don't know what to do?

You don't have to have all the answers. Focus on believing your child, keeping them safe, and reaching out for support. Professionals can guide you through the next steps, one step at a time.