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Did You Know?

Parents can experience trauma too. A child’s disclosure can cause significant emotional distress. Getting support for yourself can help you stay present for your child.

the resource project

How a Child's Disclosure Can Affect Parents:

Understanding Your Own Trauma


Parents can experience trauma too. Researchers use terms such as secondary traumatization and vicarious trauma to describe the significant psychological impact a child's disclosure of sexual abuse can have on a parent. Understanding your own response is an important part of being able to support your child.

A March 2026 study from Bond University found that non-offending parents of children who experienced sexual abuse frequently reported significant PTSD symptoms, with negative self-compassion and difficulties with emotion regulation contributing to greater psychological distress (McGillivray et al., 2026). In plain language: guilt, shame, self-blame, and being extremely hard on yourself can deepen your own distress and make an already difficult experience even harder to navigate.

A 2024 scoping review of 26 studies on vicarious trauma identified "event centrality" as an important factor in both vicarious trauma and what researchers call "vicarious posttraumatic growth" (Willcott-Benoit & Cummings, 2024). When trauma becomes the central, defining feature of a person's identity or family story, distress can intensify. Finding ways to acknowledge and integrate what happened without allowing it to define everything can support both coping and growth.

Australian research from 2025 also highlights the connection between caregiver wellbeing and a child's recovery: a child's treatment engagement and outcomes can be influenced by the emotional wellbeing and involvement of the non-offending parent (Chapman et al., 2025). Your wellbeing matters too. Seeking support for yourself is not taking attention away from your child; it can help you remain present and available for them.


Why Belief Matters

Before moving to therapeutic pathways, it is worth understanding just how difficult disclosure can be.

Approximately 48.8% of adults who experienced childhood sexual abuse in Quebec waited more than five years before telling anyone, while approximately 34.2% of men never disclosed (Institut national de santé publique du Québec, 2024). Fear of not being believed, including by parents or caregivers, can be an important barrier to disclosure.

How a child is received when they disclose matters. Disbelief, minimization, pressure, or a lack of support can make it harder for a child to continue talking about what happened and can affect their recovery. Research examining recantation also highlights the influence family and caregiver responses can have (McPherson et al., 2025). A child retracting a disclosure does not necessarily mean the abuse did not happen; disclosure can be complicated, particularly when a child is frightened, conflicted, or worried about what will happen next.

Believing your child, helping them feel safe, and responding with steady support can make an enormous difference. Supportive caregiver responses are consistently associated with better outcomes for children following sexual abuse. You do not have to respond perfectly. Being willing to listen, protect, learn, and continue showing up matters.


Caring for Yourself

Supporting a child after sexual abuse can be emotionally exhausting. Consider seeking your own counselling or support. Looking after your wellbeing can help you remain emotionally available for your child.

Remember – healing is a process, not a single event. With safety, consistent support, and access to appropriate services, many children recover and go on to lead healthy, fulfilling lives. Your belief, protection, and ongoing support can be an important part of that healing.

The Essentials
  • Your wellbeing matters too.

  • Guilt and self-blame can deepen distress.

  • Your child needs belief, not perfection.

  • What happened does not define your family.

  • Getting support can help you support your child.

Additional Reading & Listening
  • When Your Child Has Been Molested: A Parents’ Guide to Healing and Recovery — Kathryn Brohl & Joyce Case Potter
    Practical guidance for parents navigating their own emotions while supporting their child following sexual abuse, including disclosure, reporting, treatment and recovery.
    Book information – Wiley

  • The Advocate’s Guide: Working With Parents of Children Who Have Been Sexually Assaulted — National Sexual Violence Resource Center
    Written for professionals supporting non-offending parents, but also useful for understanding the emotional reactions parents may experience and the support they may need following a child’s disclosure. U.S.-based; use Canadian sources for legal and reporting guidance.
    Read the guide – NSVRC

  • Why Do Kids Blame Themselves After Abuse? — One in Ten Podcast
    Explores how caregiver responses can affect a child’s self-blame and trauma symptoms, and why parents need support themselves so they have the emotional resources to support their child.
    Listen to the episode – One in Ten

  • PTSD Interrupted? — One in Ten Podcast
    A conversation about early trauma intervention and the important role caregivers can play in helping children recover following abuse and other traumatic experiences.
    Listen to the episode – One in Ten

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This information reflects current trauma-informed guidance from the Ontario child advocacy centres, the Canadian Centre for Child Protection, BOOST Child & Youth Advocacy Centre, the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, the Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies, the Canadian Paediatric Society, and peer-reviewed research on child development and recovery following childhood sexual abuse.

For a complete list of sources, websites, organizations and publications referenced in The Resource Project, please go to our section on References.